Becoming the Whiskey Princess Read online

  Amberlyn gives her a loving smile as she slowly shakes her head. “No, you didn’t, and don’t think that. I made my own decision. I couldn’t let anything happen to him.”

  “Yeah, sure, but in the process of protecting him, we failed to protect you,” she says sternly, shaking her head. “It’s over. Let me wallow in my guilt and pray you get better.”

  Amberlyn reaches out, squeezing her aunt’s hand, setting her with a look. “I am going to be fine. I already feel so much better just being home. Don’t worry. You’ve done everything you’re supposed to. If I weren’t so loved by you guys, then I wouldn’t have had the instinct to jump in front of Declan to protect him. You’ve helped mold me into a woman my mom and dad would be proud of. Remember that.”

  Looking at the floor, I close my eyes as the room falls silent.

  “No one is at fault here.”

  “That wanker is,” Fiona says with a vengeance, and I couldn’t agree more.

  “Yes, he is, but we have to forgive him because he is lost and isn’t loved like we are.”

  “I’ll never forgive him,” Fiona promises, and again, I agree.

  “No, you have to because we should pity him, not hate him. It takes so much out of a person to hate someone; don’t let him have that power over you. I’ve forgiven him, I’m moving on, I am going to make this life the best one yet. I only have one.”

  Tears sting my eyes as I think that she almost lost that life for me. She is so uplifting, so positive, and I wish I could be an ounce like her. I can’t forgive him, I want to kill him, and it worries me. Does that mean I’m not the man she deserves? Because I want to be the man she wanted to die for. But what if I’m not?

  “You are a beautiful soul, Amberlyn. I love you so,” Mrs. Maclaster says, kissing her cheek softly before cupping her face.

  “I love you too, all of you. Everything is going to be fine. From here we can only go up,” she says with a bright grin.

  “I’ll let you rest,” Mrs. Maclaster says before lightly touching her shoulder and heading toward the door, only giving me a sideways look.

  “Call if you need us,” Mr. Maclaster says, sending her a grin. He then looks at me and says, “Are you staying in here with her?”

  “If that’s okay.”

  I can see in his eyes that he wants nothing more than to tell me to fuck off, but he nods. “That’s fine. Let her rest.”

  “Of course,” I agree as I turn to see Fiona kiss Amberlyn’s cheek.

  “I’m right next door.”

  “I know, I’m fine.”

  She nods before squeezing her hand and then heading for the door. Clasping my shoulder, she smiles and says, “Hang in there, big guy.”

  I scoff. “Trying.”

  When the door shuts, I look over at my love and smile. Pulling the blanket back, she beckons me to her. “Come lie with me.”

  I don’t hesitate. Kicking my shoes off, I head to the bed, crawling in slowly, making sure not to shake her too much as I settle in beside her. Wrapping my arms around her as softly as I can manage, I kiss her temple and close my eyes. “Get some rest.”

  She smiles against my jaw. “I’ve been resting for two weeks.”

  “Being shot is a big deal, sweetheart. Ya need your rest.”

  “I feel fine.”

  “Please just rest,” I practically beg.

  “But I miss just being us.”

  “We never stop being us, my love,” I reassure her. “I never stop loving you.”

  “As do I, but I mean, we haven’t just laughed in forever.”

  “Amberlyn, there really isn’t anything to laugh about right now. It’s all still so fresh and new. I could have lost you.”

  Bringing her head up, she looks at me and cups my face, her eyes searching mine. “But you didn’t. I’m fine and you are fine. Our lives are about to change forever, and I don’t want to wallow in the past. I want to move forward.”

  “And we will, slowly. I don’t want to rush you.”

  “Um, you only have three months before you lose your distillery. We don’t have time not to rush.”

  I shake my head before she finishes talking. “Don’t worry your head about that right now. I’ll worry about it. Now, I want you to recover.”

  Setting me with a look that says she means business, she says, “I will worry because it deals with me. I want you to be happy, and that means us getting married. Me becoming the Whiskey Princess. So we need to get started on that.”

  I look away, biting my lip as my hand comes up to run through my curls. Ugh, she’s gonna stress me the hell out.

  “What is it? Do you not want to marry me anymore?

  I look back at her quickly and shake my head. “No, Amberlyn, I’ve dreamed of making you my wife since I met you.”

  Smiling, she asks, “Really?”

  A true smile pulls at my lips as I nod. “Yes, I always knew you were it.”

  Still grinning at me, she asks, “Then what is the problem?”

  Clearing my throat, I look up at the ceiling and take in a deep breath before saying, “I just don’t think I’m the man you deserve.”

  When she doesn’t say anything, I meet her gaze to find her brows pulled in. “And why is that?”

  “I should be the one with the gunshot wound, not you. I failed ya.”

  She rolls her eyes, obviously completely annoyed with me. “Declan, you’ve done no such thing. And if you weren’t the man for me, then why did I step in front of that bullet? I did it because I know you are, because I love you and I want you to have everything you ever wanted.”

  “But I couldn’t have it without you.”

  She smiles, cupping my face, her thumb slowly moving along my lip. “You’re completely right. I’m here, so let’s figure everything out.”

  She is too damn headstrong, and I know that if she had her way, she’d plan everything now. She is such a planner and always ahead of the game. I know she just wants to ignore what happened and move on, but we all need to heal from this. We need time.

  I’m a little worried we don’t have it though.

  She’s right; it does need to be planned, but she needs to let me worry about it. One look in her eyes though, tells me that isn’t gonna happen.

  “One week. Rest for one more week, and then we’ll figure everything out.”

  She eyes me. “But we are getting married?”

  I smile, covering her hands with mine. “If you’ll have me, yes.”

  “I’ve already said yes.”

  “I was a bit worried it was the drugs,” I tease and she smiles.

  “Nope, I know what I want, and I want you. So damn much,” she says before pressing her lips to mine. Instantly my eyes fall shut as our mouths move together and a euphoric feeling washes over me. Her tongue moves with mine, her body molding against mine, catching me completely on fire. This is the first time since the shooting that we’ve actually kissed like this. Probably because we’ve never been alone. It’s always been soft, sweet kisses, not toe-curling ones like the one she is giving me now. My heart is pounding in my chest, my cock is growing, and I want more. But this can’t be good for her. No, it can’t, but my God, I want her. I want her so badly, I can’t see straight.

  But not yet.

  Pulling away, I meet her heated gaze and shake my head. “You are supposed to be resting.”

  Her sparkling eyes lock with mine, her breathing is erratic, her breasts pressing into my chest with each breath she sucks in. As I search her eyes, waiting for her answer, I can see that her eyes are slowly starting to fill with tears. Shite! Did I hurt her?

  “Amberlyn, my love, what’s wrong?”

  Tears run down her face as she shakes her head. “I want to forget, Declan. I want to forget that any of it happened. I want to start our life together, I want to be happy, I don’t want to rest and feel sad that my chest hurts, I want to feel whole again. I don’t want him to own anything on me, and the more time we allow me to rest and lie around
, the more he is winning. I want to get on with everything. I want to start our life. I want to feel alive.”

  Clearing my throat free of the sob that is threatening to come out, I say, “Amberlyn, I want all that too, but I also don’t want to rush you into this.”

  “You’re not. I want this. I want you.”

  As I cuddle her in my arms, her face presses into my neck and I close my eyes. “I want you too, mo stór, but please, give me one week. I just want to make sure you are okay. Please give me that.”

  Pulling away a bit, she looks deep into my eyes and says, “Only if you stop blaming yourself.”

  Looking away, I suck in a deep breath. She sees right through me, doesn’t she? “It isn’t your fault. I’ve told you this so many times, and I can see in your eyes that you are blaming yourself. That has to stop or we can’t move forward. I made the choice; I had to protect you—”

  “But it isn’t your job to protect me, yeah?” I point out.

  “You protect the ones you love, and I did that. I know you’d do the same for me.”

  “But I didn’t.”

  “Declan, he was shooting at you.”

  “I should have known he wasn’t playing around.”

  “Maybe so, but whatever. It’s over. It’s time to move forward. In no way, shape, or form do I think this is your fault. I hold no one responsible but him. I love you.”

  I move my fingers along her jaw as I focus on her lips. I don’t know how to let go of my guilt, but I know I need to try. I have to, or this beautiful woman who has taken me as hers will plan a wedding within a week with not a care in the world for the wound on her chest. Since that wouldn’t be protecting her, I have to push all the guilt aside and focus on her. Meeting her gaze, I say, “Fine, I won’t blame myself anymore. It’s all that gobshite’s fault.”

  Still holding my gaze, she says, “You have to forgive him.”

  “Over my dead body,” I spit back. “I can forgive myself, but I hope he rots.”

  She shakes her head as she slowly shrugs her shoulders. “Fine, but please try.”

  “Sure,” I say, but we both know I won’t.

  “We have better things to do.”

  I smile. “Oh?”

  “Yup, wedding to plan ’cause I want a huge one. I’m becoming a princess for goodness’ sakes,” she says with a wink, and I smile.

  “I’ll give you the biggest damn wedding ever as long as you keep smiling like that.”

  Her smile doesn’t move as she wraps her arms around my neck. “Good, but we do have one other thing to worry about.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yup, the small matter of my virginity.”

  I close my eyes as I shake my head. “Ah, Amberlyn, later on that. I couldn’t imagine that right now. My need for ya is so fuckin’ wild, I’d probably tear ya to pieces.”

  She giggles beside me. “Isn’t that the point?”

  I shake my head against hers, my cock throbbing in my shorts as I gaze into my future wife’s eyes. “A week. Give me a week and we’ll talk everything out.”

  “So if I got naked right now, you wouldn’t take me?”

  I groan loudly as her laughter fills the room. I smile widely and look over at her. “You wanted a laugh.”

  “I did.”

  “At my expense?”

  She nods, cuddling into me. “I just want us to feel normal.”

  Taking her tightly in my arms, I kiss her fully on her lips and then smile against them. “It feels great for sure, my love. Thank you.”

  She grins, running her fingers through my hair. “I love you.”

  “I love you more, sweetheart,” I say against her lips. “And if you were naked right now…”

  “Yeah?” she asks with a teasing grin.

  “I think I might die from the pure beauty of ya.”

  She giggles and shakes her head as I continue, “But if I don’t, then I’m hightailing it out of here. Your uncle is sure to have me killed if he caught us.”

  That has her dissolving in giggles. Which is what I want. I want her happy.

  Because she is everything to me.

  Like I wanted, Amberlyn falls asleep with her nose against my neck. It’s cold, but I don’t mind; hopefully, she’ll warm up a bit. Closing my eyes, I want to fall asleep too. I’m so damn tired. It’s been a long two weeks. Worrying constantly if she is okay and praying that she would heal. By the grace of God, she is, but still I’m finding it hard to sleep. My mind is going a hundred kilometers per hour.

  She is so set on marrying me, but I can’t help but think I did this all wrong. I was wrong for holding that part of me from her. I should have told her about the deadline, but I didn’t. I was wrong to ask her when she was drugged out of her mind, even if she wanted it. I just feel wrong. I didn’t even ask Mr. Maclaster if I could marry her. I went about this completely wrong, and I just have this dire need to fix it.

  I honestly wish I could go back and change everything. I wish I had made Lena and Amberlyn go inside. I wish I would have taken care of Casey myself, been done with him and then gone inside to confront the issue at hand. She had every right to be mad at me. I was wrong to hold that from her, and I needed to make it right. But it all went to shit. And now I am going to marry a girl that when we get older, our babies running around us, she’ll go, “Your da and I got married after I was shot. And he asked me in the hospital because he was gonna lose his distillery, and I couldn’t let that happen.” I don’t want that to be the memory of my asking her. I want it to be beautiful and to blow her away.

  Detangling myself from her, I kiss the side of her mouth before slowly getting out of the bed. When I look down, she is still sleeping blissfully. I pray she doesn’t have those dreams she’s been having. They scare me, but at the same time, comfort me. I believe in spirits and all that, and to know her ma came back to say she approves of me is straight wicked. But still, they upset Amberlyn and have her on edge. I just want her to sleep soundly, with no cares in the world. I need her to heal. I want to make a life with her.

  Making sure she is covered well, I head out the door, and when I shut it, Fiona opens hers. She looks at me and then behind me, her brow raised. “Whaddya doin’?”

  “I’m gonna go talk to your da.”

  Her brows don’t move as she asks, “For what? Do you want me to sit with her?”

  “You can, but she is dead to the world.”

  “Okay, what you want with my da?”

  “Wanna ask him if it’s okay to marry her,” I say slowly, my eyes trained on hers. “She already said yes, but I feel wrong about it. I want to mend my wrongs with rights.”

  She nods, crossing her arms across her chest. “He’s mad that you didn’t ask.”

  “I figured.”

  “And the fact that she blocked a shot for you.”

  “Again, I know, and while I wish I could take it ba—”

  “Ya can’t, and she wouldn’t want you to. She loves ya, Declan, and she did it because of that.”

  I look down, running my fingers through my hair with a nod. “I love her.”

  “Good. Go on then, ask my da. I’ll keep my door open in case she wakes up.”

  “Thank you,” I say, sharing a long look with her. She is so good for my best mate, Kane, it’s insane. I always believe that people were born for other people, and Fiona is that for Kane. As my Amberlyn is for me.

  Turning to go downstairs, I pause and look back at her. “Do you think we’re mad?”

  She smiled. “Yeah, I think it’d be mad to get married now, but she told me about the distillery and she isn’t budging. I tried,” she says sheepishly. “She’s so young, but like I said, she loves you, and I believe in yous two. She doesn’t make careless choices. She believes that she is making a sound decision, and I believe in her.”

  I know she is right and it does derail me a bit, but then I know we are going to have a good life together. We are young, yes, but it will work. I pray, at least, it will. “
You know I’ll love her until I die.”

  “Oh, I know. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be so agreeable.”

  She sends me a grin and I can’t help but to throw one back at her. Having Fiona’s approval is almost enough. She doesn’t hold anything back. She lets the world know what she is thinking. She means a lot to Amberlyn, and to know she supports us is good. Real good. Turning to head down the stairs, my heart starts to knock against my chest. I know that the Maclasters don’t think too highly of me right now, but I feel doing this will better their view of me.

  I find them downstairs, Mrs. Maclaster in her chair reading and Mr. Maclaster on the computer.

  When she sees me, she flies out of her chair, her eyes wild as she asks, “She okay?”

  “Yes, of course. I’m sorry, didn’t mean to alarm ya.”

  She places her hand on her chest, and I notice that Mr. Maclaster stands too, the same look of distress on his face. “You look worried.”

  “Oh, sorry, that’s because I’ve come to ask for your blessing to marry Amberlyn,” I say, and I really wish I would have thought that out a bit. They are both taken aback as they look at me in disbelief.

  “What?” Mrs. Maclaster asks. “Didn’t you already ask her?”

  Mr. Maclaster crosses his arms across his wide chest, his dark eyes set on me as I nod slowly. “Yes, I did. But I don’t feel right the way it happened. I know I am supposed to ask you two first, but with everything that happened, I kind of got lost in the process. I apologize for that.”

  They both eye me for a moment as sweat breaks out across my forehead. “She’s so young. Only twenty.”

  “Yes, I know—”

  “Just because you can lose your distillery doesn’t mean she should have to marry you. You’ve only dated a short time,” Mr. Maclaster says, his voice sharp.

  Yeah, this is not going well. Not at all.

  “I know. While the distillery issue is the reason that I asked so early, I’ve always known I was gonna marry her. She’s beautiful, smart, and so damn perfect in my eyes.”

  “We know all that,” Mrs. Maclaster says. “But she hasn’t lived. She went from caring for her mother and not having any interaction with anyone to coming here, and bam! You are in her face. She hasn’t experienced heartbreak, or university, nothing. She’s still so young and naïve to it all. You come in, a prince of Mayo, and what girl wouldn’t jump at the chance to marry ya? I think yer a sweet man, Declan, I do, but I feel this is rushing it a bit. How do you know that this is going to work? I know you don’t believe in divorce, so what happens when she isn’t happy?”