One Timer: An Nashville Assassins Novel Page 4

  I feel her staring a hole in the side of my face. “Why? I thought y’all slept together again. He was all about it.”

  “He is. I’m not.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Because I don’t want to be.”

  “Why?”

  “Are you a parrot? Leave it be. Nothing is going to happen. One and done.”

  “You did him twice. A lot. Like, all night.”

  I flash her a dark look. “I know, and I don’t need that reminder. I just need to forget him.”

  “Wh— I mean, ugh… I don’t understand.”

  I exhale very loudly. “I’m not a one-man woman. Too many dicks, too little time.”

  “Oh, Harper. Come on. It’s me.”

  I still won’t look at her. I am editing a first birthday shoot I did last week. The photos are adorable and way more interesting than this conversation. “Well, since it’s you, you know I don’t want to get involved with someone just for them to hurt me.”

  She lets out a soft noise. Sounds very sympathetic to me, which kind of pisses me off. “I know you didn’t have the greatest luck in high school—”

  Greatest luck? Is she delusional? “You mean every guy I dated cheated on me? Thanks for the reminder, El.”

  I look over at her just as she snaps her lips together. “To be honest, you didn’t really pick good guys.”

  I shrug. “So? I thought I was enough.”

  “You can’t be enough for someone who won’t value your worth.” Elli says the words so confidently. Something I haven’t heard from her in a very long time. I almost scream out in joy, but then I remember what we’re talking about.

  I bring in my brows. “Those are some pretty big claims for someone who says Shea Adler couldn’t be into her.”

  A small smile pulls at her lips. “Maybe I’m opening my eyes, and maybe you should too. I hear Jakob is amazing.”

  He is. I mean, the sexual and cuddling side of him is. I don’t know any other side. “I don’t even know him.”

  “You could try.”

  I shake my head. “Like I said, he’s needy. One of those guys who wants to get married and make babies. I am not that woman.”

  “You could be.”

  I glance back at her. “Please. No one has ever looked at me and thought that.”

  Her eyes are kind. “I do. I always have. Especially when you’re with my nieces and nephews. You’re the life of the party. Always.”

  I look away, shrugging. I’ve never seen that in my future. Hell, let me be honest and say I never thought a man would want me for more than a night.

  Then entered Jakob Titov.

  “I don’t know.”

  “I’ve never in my life seen you scared of something.”

  I scrunch up my face. “Ugh, I made you kill that spider the other day.”

  She laughs. “You know what I mean.”

  I lick my lips since they’re becoming irritably dry. “I don’t know. He makes me nervous.”

  “Scared, you mean.”

  I shake my head. “I’m not scared of some dude. I won’t give anyone the power to hurt me, which is why I’m staying away.”

  “But you want to.”

  “Want to what?”

  “Give him that power.”

  I mean, it wouldn’t be horrible, but I’m not admitting that. “No way.”

  “I know you, Harper Allen, and I think he likes you a lot. I also don’t think he is going anywhere.”

  I side-eye her. “I kicked him out of the apartment and slammed the door in his face.”

  “But he’s called.”

  “So?”

  “And you’ve ignored him?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I don’t think he cares about that.”

  “Why would you say that?”

  She nods toward the front door. “He just got out of the car with a really big bouquet of flowers.”

  I whip my head to the front, and sure as shit, he’s standing in the parking lot. He has a huge bouquet of roses in his hand wrapped in brown paper with a white bow. He has on some really nice-fitting pants and a pressed button-down shirt. His dark hair is brushed to the side, and he’s clean-shaven, unlike the other night. He pushes his sunglasses up into his hair and looks toward the shop. He can’t see us—the windows are tinted—but I can see him.

  And. Wow.

  “You gonna run? He’s coming in.”

  I stand up, fixing the front of my shirt so my breasts look good. I pull up my jeans and jerk my thumb to her office. “Vamoose, you.”

  She laughs as she gets up, heading back to her office just as the door opens and Jakob enters. “Hey, Jakob,” she calls over her shoulder. “Good luck.”

  I’m gonna kill her. I look back at him, and he’s only looking at me. His green eyes burn my skin as he takes me in. He clears his throat. “I’ve been calling you.”

  I press my lips together, tucking my fingers into my back pockets. “Yeah, I’ve been ignoring you. I told you this couldn’t happen.”

  He nods slowly as he closes the distance between us. “I don’t take ‘no’ very well.”

  I love his voice. Breathlessly, I gaze up into his gorgeous eyes. “I am discovering that.”

  “I got these for you,” he says, handing me the over-the-top bouquet. It looked smaller when he was outside. Now that it’s in my hands, I’m sure there are at least five dozen roses. “I’ve thought of you this many times since I bought them, and I don’t care if that’s corny. Shea said I was corny.”

  I grin, puckering my lips as I run my finger along the bow. “Just a bit. But it’s also incredibly sweet of you.” I look up, and he’s dropping his lips to mine. I should push him away, I should dodge his kiss, but I fall into it. He brings his hand up, holding my jaw as our lips move together.

  When he pulls back, he’s only a breath away before he says, “Don’t pucker those lips unless you want to be kissed, kiska.”

  Fucking hell.

  I’m lost in his eyes as I gaze up at him. “Take me to dinner.”

  “Okay.”

  “And this is it. I’m going to see if I like you, and if I don’t, you’ll have to let me go.”

  “Okay.”

  I glare. “You’re not going to let me go.”

  He slowly shakes his head. “Nope, because you’re going to love me.”

  And for the first time, I realize I am actually scared.

  I’m petrified he is right.

  With how hot he looks, I expected him to take me to some fancy restaurant, but instead, we go to a hole-in-the-wall taco place. Don’t get me wrong—it’s the best tacos in Nashville, but I thought only I knew about this place. Even Elli doesn’t like it. She says she feels like they get the tacos off the floor. I don’t care where they get them; they taste like heaven, which is why I ordered ten of them. Plus, they’re small. Like, two make one, so in all reality, I got five. Still a normal and decent amount.

  But I still say, “Don’t judge me. I’m hungry.”

  He grins as he gestures toward me. “I’ll take ten of the same.”

  The waitress nods and walks off. I cross my legs and then uncross them before recrossing them again. I’m flustered, but Jakob sits across from me, cool as a cucumber with a sneaky little look on his face. “What?”

  “You look beautiful. I love your hair like that.”

  I reach up, touching my hair. I have it gelled down in the front and wild in the back. It’s my “I was too lazy to do anything with it” style. “Well, thanks. I basically rolled out of bed this morning. I was up late—” I stop quickly, looking down at the table. I was up late because I kept tossing and turning, thinking of his fine ass.

  “What were you doing, other than ignoring my calls?”

  I look up, a grin pulling at my lips. “Just watching TV.”

  “Should have called me, I would have come over and watched with you.”

  I taunt, “Please, you’d want more.”

  “Really, no. I just want to be near you.” His accented English sends my heart into a frenzy. “I feel you like to be near me too.”

  I shrug. “I mean, it’s not horrible.”

  He chuckles softly. “So, do you have family?”

  He’s completely unfazed by my resistance. I don’t know if it’s confidence or if he doesn’t understand I don’t want this.

  I don’t.

  I really don’t.

  Right?

  “I do,” I find myself saying. “My mom and dad, and I have a set of twin sisters. They’re younger.”

  He nods. “Nice. I have a brother, but our parents are our adoptive parents. We were adopted when I was a bit older, but my brother Erik is younger.”

  “Does your brother play hockey?”

  He smiles up at me. “Yes, he is very good. Some would say better than me. Not my mom, though. She says we are both the best.”

  “Sounds like something my mom would say. She gushes over all of us, when we all know I’m her favorite.”

  He laughs, and I can’t help but grin. “Ah yes, my mom does the same. My real parents, not so much. My mom ran off without us, and my dad was very… Uh, what is the word? Mean? No, something worse—”

  “Abusive?”

  He nods, pointing to me as our tacos are set down in front of us. “Yes, abusive. He hurt us terribly, but we are okay now.” He digs into his tacos like he didn’t just tell me something very personal. I don’t think I would ever tell someone something like that unless I truly knew them. He just met me.

  He knows my vagina better than he knows me.

  “I’m so sorry.”

  He waves me off. “In the past. I have a good future ahead of me.”

  Wow. His resilience is really sexy. “Is that right?”


  “Yup. You’re in it,” he says around a mouthful of his food. “Remember, you’re gonna love me after tonight.”

  I laugh, though I can’t ignore the clench in my stomach. “Cocky much?”

  “Always,” he says with a wink. “You always want to be a photographer?”

  I bite into my taco and nod. “I did. I went to NYU for it.”

  “What is NYU?” he asks slowly.

  “Oh, you didn’t grow up here?”

  He laughs. “Doesn’t my accent give me away? I grew up in Russia.”

  I feel dumb. “Yeah, duh. I don’t know, I thought maybe you came here when you were adopted.”

  “I did, but I was already fourteen, and my parents know Russian, so we hardly spoke English. But yeah, I know it all now. I forget sometimes, but the written word gets me.”

  “Can you not read in English?”

  “Not much. I try, though,” he says with a wry smile. “It’s hard, but I learn.”

  “I don’t doubt it,” I say, and then I smile. “I could help.”

  Why. In. The. Hell. Did. I. Say. That?

  I quickly add, “You know, if we make it out of this, both of us wanting to.”

  He gives me a dry look. “You don’t believe this, huh?”

  “Believe what?”

  “This feeling. I feel it. You do, but you’re ignoring it.”

  “I am not. I mean, I don’t feel anything. You’re a fantastic lay and I have fun, but I don’t date.”

  “You don’t date? Why?”

  “Guys are assholes.”

  He nods. He’s already eaten four tacos. “Some are, but I’m good.”

  I can’t help but grin at him. “Man, now I think you’re full of yourself.”

  “I am,” he says with no apology. “I spent many years thinking I was not good enough. I don’t do that anymore. I gotta live each day fully, because they can be taken away, like this,” he says, snapping his fingers. “I have a good life. I want to make it better. Do you feel like that?”

  “Huh?” I ask, confused. “Feel what?”

  “That you want a better life. You have a good life, yeah?”

  I shrug. “It’s okay.”

  I mean, I live a good life. I work my ass off to make the studio successful, I sleep with whomever I want, I see my family when I want, and I do what I want. It isn’t bad. Do I want more? Sure. But I don’t really know what that means. I don’t like being lonely; I find myself at Elli’s house or even my parents’ more than I care to admit. I don’t do things alone; I always go with Elli, but now that she is with Shea, she’s busy with him. Maybe I need a dog? No, way too needy. A cat. Cats aren’t needy.

  But from the way Jakob is looking at me over the tacos he’s devouring, I suspect he thinks he belongs in the void I didn’t know I had.

  “Then you want better,” he says simply, eating like this is a normal, day-to-day conversation. Lord, he’s flipping intriguing. “Don’t you?”

  I look at my taco, tearing off a piece before popping it into my mouth. “Yeah, sure.”

  “I thought so. Do you like movies?”

  I eye him. “Yeah, why?”

  “We should go to one. Thursday. I have a game tomorrow.”

  “Oh. Um—”

  “I’ll pick you up at six,” he says, watching me. “And you can tell me about this NYU.”

  I look away shyly. “It’s a college.”

  He nods. “That’s a big school?”

  Why am I turned on by the fact that he doesn’t know that? “Yeah, I graduated from there.”

  “Ah, okay. Wow, that’s awesome. You’re very smart, then?”

  I grin. “I’m all right.”

  “I bet you are very smart. I will need to take you up on helping me learn.” He winks, and my heart skips a beat. I want to help him and also slam my face into the table. I’m unsure which will lead to more pain. “So, we go?”

  Should we go? I’m sure Elli will be with Shea, and then I’ll be at home with my computer. We have no events this week, not until Saturday and Sunday, and everything is during the day. I mean, there is really no reason not to go. I like him well enough. He’s damn cute, and I like having sex with him. Something that could really make my week.

  “Only if you take me home.”

  His eyes stare into my soul. “I was going to.”

  “I mean tonight.”

  He nods, so fucking confident and gorgeous. I can see his chest puffing up, the passion in his eyes. Hot damn if he doesn’t turn me on. “I was going to.”

  Breathlessly, I bite my lip. “Then, yes.”

  “And I’ll stay.”

  “Stay?”

  “Yes. I have a bag in the car.”

  I wait for the freak-out to come. The flight sense. But it doesn’t appear. Instead, I can only feel sheer desire. “Who said anything about needing a bag?”

  He grins. “My breath is awful in the morning.”

  I can’t help but grin back at him. “Is it?”

  “You’ll see,” he says, polishing off the rest of his taco. “Now, eat up so I can eat you up.”

  Oh man, I need to keep my wits about me with Jakob Titov before he knocks me clean on my ass.

  Something no man has ever done.

  It’s Been a Week

  Jakob

  “Dude, you’re always talking to her. She’s going to think you’re desperate.”

  My way of thinking is this—I tease him so he realizes his feelings. I love Shea, but he’s a bit dense. He’s used to being all about himself. I want him to see that now, he’s all about a woman.

  “No, she won’t. I just like talking to her,” he says defensively as he dries his balls. “So, shut up.”

  I grin. Exactly what I wanted him to say. I want him to get defensive. I want him to fight for what he wants. When you’re the captain of a National Hockey League team, women tend to throw themselves at you. Shea has a plethora of women doing that. “You’ve seen her every day since Sunday. You are smothering her!”

  His eyes narrow to slits. “I am not! And this coming from the guy who’s basically stalking what’s her name.”

  Now, I’m glaring. I talk about Harper enough for him to know her name. Plus, he’s dating her best friend. Elli loves Harper; I’m sure she talks about her too. “Harper, but I love her. It’s different.”

  His jaw drops, and I know I’ve surprised him. But really, the only thing I’m surprised by about my comment is that he didn’t realize it. I mean, I’ve only talked about Harper all day and all night. On the ice, off, all the time. The girl is it for me. She makes me absolutely senseless, and I love how proud she is. I love how she doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks. She just does Harper, and that turns me on. I want a girl who loves herself and knows her worth. I really appreciate the fact that she is making me work for her. I don’t want it to be handed to me. Yeah, she gave me her body, but I’m working for her heart. I’ll get it. I’m wearing her down, and it really excites me. I want her to know what I know and fall completely and utterly in love with me.

  Shea, though, he doesn’t seem to be processing what I’ve just said. “Oh my God. Really, dude? It’s been a week!”

  I smile proudly, confidently. “I know the one when I see her.”

  He seems very confused by me as he stands, wrapping a towel around his waist. “You know what? Before you try to give me advice on how to date girls, get your love life squared away.”

  As he walks away, I say, “I got my life squared away. I’m in love with an NYU graduate who is beautiful and smart, and I’m not the least bit embarrassed to say so.”

  Shea looks over his shoulder at me. “You’re insane. That girl doesn’t even have you on her radar.”

  I’m offended. “The fuck she doesn’t. I’m all over that.”

  Shea rolls his eyes, shaking his head as he leaves to go to wherever he is going. I’m unsure of his destination, but I’m dressed and ready to go. I say bye to some of the guys. I look forward to seeing them tomorrow. We play tomorrow, and I’m hoping I can convince Harper to come. I want her to see my second love. To know what makes me tick. I’d love for her to meet my parents, but I’m just lucky she didn’t kick me out of her bed the last couple mornings. To my surprise, I haven’t left her condo much. Only for the rink and when we go places together. It’s been really nice. Normal for me. The normalcy I crave. After such an awful childhood, I want love and a life that is worth living. I didn’t get my parents until later than I needed. I wish I’d had that example my whole life, the way they love each other. But thankfully, I didn’t need long to catch on.