One Timer: An Nashville Assassins Novel Page 5

  Harper and I can be what my parents are. I just need her to get on board.

  When I push open the side door that leads to the players’ parking lot, I feel a slow grin cover my lips when I see Harper leaning against my car. She’s wearing a tight gray sweater dress and heeled black boots. She hasn’t put the purple color back in her hair since we’ve been talking, and I don’t think I miss it. I love her hair, dark and styled to perfection. When she smiles, though, everything else fades away.

  Every single word I said from before about Harper rings true. I love her.

  I love her so damn much.

  I don’t say anything as I close the distance between us. When I circle my arms around her waist, she comes up against my chest, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck. “Hey, you,” she says against my lips just as I drop them to hers. I kiss her, feeling every single emotion well up inside of me. I don’t know what she is doing here, and to be honest, I don’t care one bit. I’m just glad she’s here. She pulls back first, grinning as she runs her thumbs along my cheeks. “Well, hot damn, I’ll wait for you more often if that’s the way I’m greeted.”

  Ah, I love her country accent. Elli’s is way more out there, but Harper’s hits me in the feels. I squeeze my arms around her, kissing her top lip. “I want it to be every day.”

  She giggles against my lips, leaning into me. “Stop. You’re making me blush.”

  “Good,” I say, kissing her cheeks that have filled with color. “Tell me you’ve come by to go to dinner with my parents?”

  She laughs against my nose. “No way. Came to make you take me to lunch, and you said you’d replace my coffee table. It broke the rest of the way today.”

  I grin before reaching out to my Jeep to open the back. She tears her gaze from mine to look inside and find the exact coffee table we broke the first night we were together. She looks up at me with a dreamy expression. “Or we can get takeout and go back to my place to put this together.”

  “And maybe break it again?”

  Her eyes darken and sparkle with desire. “Maybe.”

  “I love that word.”

  “Yeah?” I nod, and she bats her lashes at me. “Maybe I’ll do that thing you like.”

  My groin tightens, and I am well aware what she is speaking of, but I need more. “Like come to my game tomorrow?”

  I’d say she is surprised by my question, but she recovers well. “Your game?”

  “Yeah, tomorrow at seven. I can get you tickets—”

  She moves her fingers through her hair. “Elli has tickets. She’s been begging me to go to a game.”

  I lean into her, pressing my nose against the side of hers. “Can I beg you?”

  She looks at me through her lashes. “Maybe.”

  Ah, that word. From those lips. “I want you there. I want you to see how passionate I am about my work. When you showed me your photos, I was amazed by your talent. Let me amaze you.”

  She takes a deep breath. “You already do.” Oh, the grin on my face is unstoppable, and she smiles shyly as she slides her fingertip along my jaw. “Which is why you’ve woken up beside me with that awful breath.”

  I laugh. “And I appreciate you for dealing with my breath. But let me show you what else I can do.”

  Her eyes meet mine, and she nods slowly. “It doesn’t mean anything if I go. Like I keep saying, we aren’t together.”

  I roll my eyes. Yes, she has said this a time or two, and no, I don’t believe her at all. “What did I tell you about that? I don’t want to hear your lies.”

  “I’m not lying. We’re not together. We’re just dating.”

  “So, does dating mean we spend every night together for a week?”

  She looks away. “Sure does.”

  “And it means that I hold you for hours on end while we watch all those weird, scary shows you like?”

  She won’t look at me. “Supernatural is not scary.”

  “It is too, which is why I hold you.”

  She shrugs. “Fine, yes.”

  “And tell me… Dating means we stay up all night talking and learning more about each other, naked, in bed.”

  She finally meets my gaze, that determined look on her face that drives me wild. “Those are all details that don’t need to be mentioned. Especially the naked one.”

  I grin with a wink. “But the naked part is my favorite.”

  “See, which is why we’re dating, maybe even fucking.”

  I shake my head. I hate that more than the “we’re just dating” bullshit. “No, we left all that behind when I learned the names of your family, your friends, and how many men you slept with before me. We—me and you—are doing something here, Harper. Admit it.”

  “No way,” she says, very resistant. “Never.”

  “You’re going to admit it,” I promise her, and she presses her lips together. “And you’re coming to my game to cheer me on because you want to watch me win.”

  “Or I’m coming to the game because I want to hang with my friend.” I give her a dry look, and she sends me one right back. “Don’t rush me, Jakey.”

  I laugh from the gut, despite her annoyed look. “But you’ve given me a nickname and we’re only dating?”

  She glares as her face warms with color. It’s so beautiful, the color, but on her, it’s breathtaking. “Hush.”

  “Never. I will get you to admit this is more than just dating.”

  She rolls her eyes. “I won’t.”

  “You will, and when you do, it’s gonna blow us both away.”

  She narrows her eyes. “This will probably end before that could ever happen.”

  I laugh. “This is never going to end.” She rolls her eyes, and I look at her seriously. “Why would you say that?”

  “Because things don’t last.”

  “This will.”

  “How do you know?” she asks mutinously.

  “Because I feel it, just as you do. But you choose to ignore it.”

  She sets me with a pointed look. “I don’t feel anything.”

  “You can say that all you want, but I feel it in your kiss,” I say, moving my thumb along her lip. “In the way you look at me. The way you hold me. And most definitely the way you smile.”

  Her eyes soften, and her lips quirk at the side. “People don’t stay with me.”

  “Do you give them a chance?”

  She stares at me, her eyes burning into mine. “I don’t have to.”

  “Well, give me the chance, Harper, because I’ll prove you wrong. Over and over again,” I promise, taking her mouth with mine. I know she probably has a lot to say to that, but thankfully, she falls into the kiss.

  Just like how I want her to fall in love with me.

  Just like how she will fall.

  I know it.

  When I come onto the ice, the first thing I see is Harper.

  She’s wearing a purple jersey, and I’m pretty sure I see a number two on each of her cheeks, but I won’t get my hopes up. She has her hair spiked tonight with the purple throughout it. She’s wearing bright purple eye stuff and even lipstick. Her style excites me. Like her best friend, who is wearing every piece of Shea Adler merchandise there is, respectively, Harper looks as if she is a fan, but I know that’s not the case. Or at least, that’s what I’ve been told. This is the first game she’s ever been to. And I don’t care what she says; she’s here for me. I didn’t know where Elli’s seats were, but to any hockey fan, they’re badass. Right beside the penalty box and immediately across the ice from where we come out.

  As I put a puck to my blade, I watch as Shea skates right for where Elli and Harper are sitting. Even though no one can tell, I watch as he talks through the glass to Elli, who looks more like a teenager than a grown woman. She is excited and basically bouncing while looking at Shea. She is all about him, and Shea is eating it up. Harper sits beside Elli with this look of disgust on her face, and it annoys me. I want her to be excited like that for me, but her words from earlier taunt me. She hasn’t even looked at me. Fine, two can play at that game.

  I move the puck back and forth as I skate with my team. I love warming up; it gets the blood going, and I usually know how I am going to feel throughout the game from the twenty-minute warm-up. I love seeing the fans, especially the kids. I never got to go to games when I was a kid. My birth father was too busy beating the shit out of my brother and me, and my birth mom was off doing something other than raising us. Or protecting us. When my parents came to save us, I stayed scared for about three years, and then finally, I started to come into my own. Sometimes, I feel it was easier for me to let go because it wasn’t as bad for me as it was for Erik. Our birth dad really hated Erik, and I think it was because he looked so much like our birth mother. I favored our birth father. But seeing the kids here only fuels me to have my own and love them how I wish Erik and I had been loved before our parents came for us.

  I move around the goal, and I stand there grabbing pucks and throwing them up and over the glass. Kids squeal, parents smile in gratitude, and it makes me feel a certain way. Out of the corner of my eye, though, I notice Harper is watching me. Her brow is furrowed and she looks pissed, but I don’t pay her any mind. While we had a great afternoon and even a great night when I went back to her place after my dinner with my parents, her claim of our not being together is still annoying me. I know the truth, but it bugs the shit out of me that she is holding so tightly to her insistence on not giving us the label we deserve. I get that we don’t need a label and I’d probably be better off by not putting one on us, but I already told my parents she’s the one.

  And I won’t be wrong.

  I know I’m not.

  When Shea hollers out, “Break!” I haul ass to the blue line as we start our dril
ls. We do them every warm-up, and they bring us together. We rush the net and then go to the blue line. We do these many times before our goalie takes his position and we start shooting on him. Word is this is his last year, but I’ll believe it when I see it. Liyamia has been here longer than Shea and me combined. Who could possibly replace him?

  As I watch my teammates, I move my feet quickly, taking in deep breaths. My parents are up in the stands along with Erik, who flew in to watch. He’s still playing for the Philadelphia Flyers’ farm team, but he’s gonna make it soon enough. I feel it. He’s a badass player. As I look up toward the box my parents should be in, I can’t see them, but I know they’re there. They don’t miss warm-ups. When it’s my turn to shoot, I crash the net and I take a good shot, going five-hole before skating off to the right where Harper and Elli are sitting. I look up to find Harper watching me.

  I can’t help it. I smile before jutting my chin toward her. She stands up, a grin on her face before she turns for me, showing me the Number Two jersey she wears. She then points to the side of her face where my number is painted on her cheek, and everything inside of me goes hot. I send her a wink, my heart in my throat, and she blows me a kiss. I purse my lips to her, wishing mine were against hers. I know it’s not professional, but I sure as fuck don’t care. As she lowers back into her seat, admiration all over her gorgeous face along with a lot of excitement, I can’t help but laugh at her words.

  Her claims.

  I don’t get why she is so resistant to me. So, she’s been hurt. Yeah, it sucks. But I’m not them. I’m me. And I am everything she needs and wants. I know it’s only been two weeks since I met her, but I swear I knew the moment I saw her. A confident, loud, wild woman with a smile that knocks me on my ass? Yes, that’s who I want. Who I need. Who I see as the mother of my children. I’ve seen how she speaks of Elli’s nieces and nephews, how much she loves her own sisters, and I want that kind of love for myself. For our children. After seeing my number on her, that smile as she danced just for me, I know for a solid fact that Harper is who I see my life with. And she’s gonna see it too. I will get that woman to fall for me because that’s what she deserves. A life with a good man who will erase what those other fuckers did to her.

  Who will love her for her loud, stubborn, gorgeous self.

  I’m that man.

  Jakey!

  Harper

  I am doing something I swore I would never do.

  I am missing a man.

  Desperately.

  Figures the first guy I allow myself to miss really fucks with me. I find myself wandering into Elli’s office. She was on the phone before, but now she’s doing whatever on the computer. She doesn’t even seem to care Shea is gone. Really confusing to me since they spend every waking moment together. I worry she’s going to ruin this because of her insecurities. But really, am I one to talk? I won’t even admit to what I’m feeling for Jakob. What we are. I know it’s gonna really piss him off one of these times, and I may lose him.

  I fall face first into Elli’s couch, groaning.

  The thought of losing him hurts my chest.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  I roll over onto my back, inhaling deeply. “I miss sex!” I mean, I can’t come out and tell her the truth. She’ll make assumptions, and I can’t have that. Love is a weakness…and that way of thinking makes no damn sense since I want her to fall in love and be happy. Why don’t I want that for myself? I deserve that. I’m a good person. So, what makes us different?

  “What do you mean? You can have sex with anyone,” she says offhandedly, like it’s nothing. Go out and fuck someone else, Harper. It isn’t like Jakob is important to you.

  I sit up quickly, and I notice she leans back in her chair and it rolls back. “If you laugh, tell anyone, or even smile, I’ll throw something at you!”

  She looks at me wryly but says, “Okay.”

  I swallow hard past the lump in my throat. This is my best friend, and maybe if I show some emotion, she’ll realize her feelings, and boom, she’ll get what she always wanted. A good man who loves all of her, even the parts she doesn’t. “I miss sex with Jakob. I miss…him.”

  I can see it all over her face. She wants to cry out in celebration, cuddle me to her bosom, and tell me how happy she is. Instead, she covers her mouth and mutters, “Oh.”

  I throw up my arms, feeling disgusted with myself as I drop my head back. “I’ve never in my life had this problem, but that damn Russian brought his big ole penis into bed with me, and now no other man even measures up. I miss my Jakey!”

  Out of nowhere, tears roll down my face. I look over at Elli for help, but I think she’s as stunned by my tears as I am. “I don’t know what my problem is. I never get like this with guys. I just miss him, you know? Don’t you miss Shea?” I find myself asking, needing some kind of explanation for my emotional outburst.

  Maybe I’m about to start my period?

  “Oh yeah,” she agrees, her eyes kind. “But I’m in a relationship with him.”

  This bitch. I’m supposed to be helping her admit her feelings, not being forced to admit my own!

  “Well, yeah. But I mean, I don’t know… I just miss Jakob.” When her lips curve, I glare. I know what I sound like, and I refuse to be pitied! “You’re smiling!”

  She isn’t listening to me, though. An email has come in, and then she’s watching some music video. So I head out of the room, wiping my face. I don’t understand what I’m feeling. It’s all a rush. All so confusing. As I head to my desk, I hear the song restart, and I assume it’s from Shea. Who else would send her a song about needing just a kiss from her? Shea is all about Elli, and it’s adorable. So why do I fight how much Jakob is about me? I’m going to push him away and I really don’t want to do that, but I also don’t want anyone to know I don’t want that.

  Yes, I am aware I’m a basket case.

  When I fall into my desk chair, I find myself reaching for my phone. I dial his number, and when his low, thick Russian accent fills the line, I find myself sighing.

  “Hey, kiska.”

  Kiska.

  I swoon. Like, literally swoon. I’m two seconds from clutching my heart like he did the first time we met. “Hey, what are you doing?”

  “Lying in bed, playing on my computer. Shea and Elli are flirting and being disgusting, so I’m ignoring him.”

  I grin. “Was that him who sent the video?”

  “Oh yeah. I think the song is stupid. I want more than just a kiss.”

  “Oh, really? A kiss isn’t enough?”

  His voice is deep and sexy. “No, I want all of you.”

  I take in a sharp breath. “Oh.”

  “Yeah. If you were the kind of woman who would be receptive to music, I would spend hours finding the right song.”

  Fuck, he leaves me breathless. “Maybe I am.”

  “Yeah?”

  “No,” I say quickly, and then I smack myself in the forehead. “I mean, yeah. No. Hell, I don’t know.”

  He pauses, and I can hear him move in the bed. “What’s wrong, kiska?”

  I cover my face with my hand, exhaling on a rush. “I don’t know, Jakob. I miss you.”

  I can actually hear the smile in his voice. “I miss you, my love.”

  His love. Ugh. “I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want this to end. I feel like I’m pushing you away with my own fucked-up way of thinking, and I don’t know how to fix that. But I’ve been hurt left and right, and that’s why I keep men at arm’s length. But apparently, you don’t care about that and keep coming for me, and I don’t want to fuck this up. I don’t want to hurt you or lose you.” I take in a deep breath. “I really don’t understand it either, ’cause my parents are happy and my sisters are in healthy relationships. And then there’s me, being all weird about being in a relationship. I think I want to be in one, but I don’t. I don’t know.”

  He doesn’t say a word. He lets me word-vomit, and soon, I am gasping for breath as I hold the phone to my ear. “Jakob?”

  “Don’t speak, my love. I don’t want to hear this stuff, because nothing that is easy is worth it. I want this to be hard for you, because when you give in, you’ll truly give in to me.” He leaves me shaking with fear. But a good fear. Not the scary kind. Jakob’s voice is so welcoming, so confident as he says, “If you’re gonna take the chance, if you’re gonna hurt anyone, do it to me. And when we fall, blame it all on me, because that’s what I want. I want you to fall head over heels in love with me and ruin all men because of how much you love me. I want you, only you, Harper.”